Keep bleeding…

Sometimes I think about whether I am or not worth to be loved… It hurts even more when same things happen, same source of pain but this time, it is more fatal. I can still remember two weeks ago when I could not even have the appetite to eat and I could not sleep because I was thinking about it. They say I am beautiful, smart and intelligent. I am friendly, patient, loyal, honest, and caring but I am also frank, sometimes bossy and moody. But if we get along, I will make sure you will have fun. I wonder why I am not enough for him…

Maybe because of the distance… It usually takes three months before we see each other. It is my choice to study far away from him but I already made that choice before we knew each other. Before, I have already thought about it, that he could possibly fall for someone else, a part-time girl in times I am not around. I knew it would happen, I just did not realize how painful it will be. I do not know what to think, the girl is so ****** because she knows all along that I am still the girlfriend. I know I will not let him make a choice between us because the answer is more than crystal clear… He would not fall for that girl if he did not want to and he did not make a move…

I know it hurts when I search for the truth but I can not stop myself from asking and searching for answers. I am bleeding inside. The pain is killing me and I do not know until when I can hold on… I can not wait to go home and know the real score. As each day passes by, the more difficult it is for me to breathe. I know and I can believe I can go one without him, why not? It is just for me to choose which path to take. I just hope I can handle it when I am face-to-face with him.

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